Motherhood is full of constant noise, messes, questions, and responsibilities and as much as we love our kids, it can feel impossible to find even five minutes to breathe. Between the never ending to-do list and the mental load we carry, “me time” often feels like a luxury we can’t afford. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s survival. But here, we turn survival into thriving. That is our goal.
Here are realistic ways to carve out time for yourself, even when it feels like someone always needs you:
1. Wake Up Just a Bit Earlier (But Make It Worth It)
Getting up before everyone else sounds like torture when you’re already exhausted but those quiet minutes before the chaos starts can feel like gold. Even 15 minutes can be enough to sip your coffee while it’s still hot, journal, stretch, or simply sit in silence. Instead of using that time to jump straight into chores, do something that feels just for you. The key is making it feel like a treat, maybe it’s lighting a candle, listening to your favorite music, or drinking your coffee from your prettiest mug.
2. Create a Non-Negotiable Daily Pause
Life with kids is unpredictable, but we can still create pockets of time for ourselves. Pick one small thing each day that you protect like an appointment. It might be a mid-afternoon walk, reading a chapter of a book while the kids have screen time, or locking the bathroom door and taking the kind of shower where you actually shave your legs. Let everyone in the house know that this is “your moment,” and treat it as important as feeding the kids lunch or switching over the laundry.
3. Swap With Another Mom
Finding time for yourself becomes easier when you have a support system. Team up with another mom who understands the struggle and trade off breaks. Maybe you watch her kids for an hour one week, and she does the same for you the next. Even if it’s just once a month, that time can be sacred, a solo Target run, a nap, or just sitting in your car in silence can feel life changing.
4. Lower the Bar Where You Can
So much of our exhaustion comes from the pressure to do everything perfectly. But sometimes the laundry can sit in the basket another day, or dinner can just be frozen pizza. By letting go of a few things that don’t matter as much, you free up time and mental energy for the things that do. You don’t have to be the mom who cooks every meal from scratch or has a spotless house. Your worth as a mom isn’t measured by how much you do, it’s measured by the love and presence you give.
5. Ask for (and Accept) Help
For so many of us, asking for help feels like failure but it’s actually the opposite. Whether it’s your partner, family, or a trusted helper, letting someone else step in for even an hour can make a huge difference. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “Hey, can you watch the kids while I take a walk?” or hiring help for cleaning, babysitting, or errands when you can. There is no badge of honor for doing it all alone.
6. Find Small Joys That Fit Your Day
Self-care doesn’t always look like spa days or girls’ trips, it can be the tiny moments that make you feel human again. Keep a special creamer in the fridge that makes your coffee feel indulgent. Listen to your favorite podcast while folding laundry. Spend 10 minutes stretching or journaling before bed. These little rituals remind you that you exist outside of motherhood, even on the busiest days.
Motherhood is all-consuming, and it’s easy to put ourselves at the very bottom of the list. But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential. When you give yourself even small pockets of time to rest, recharge, and feel like you again, you show up as a better mom, partner, and person overall.
You don’t need hours of free time or a week-long vacation to feel human again. Start with one thing—wake up a little earlier, swap with a friend, say yes when someone offers to help. Those tiny acts of self-care add up in big ways.
Remember: you’re not failing by needing help, you’re human. The best moms are the ones who know they can’t do it all alone, and they give themselves grace along the way.
You deserve to feel good in motherhood, not just survive it. Give yourself permission to take up space, breathe, and ask for the support you need. You’ve got this, mama.